Wellington

Auckland

Pakistan

Lahore

Calcutta

Canada, Kabul

Delhi

What now? Life was to be continued and put together without Howard a companion and colleague for the past 5 years. Robbie was quite keen for me to continue on in Multan. However the complication as far as I was concerned lay in the impending arrival of two Scottish nurses. Quarters were close, I was rather lonely and given the dynamics of life I could see that there would be real complications on the romantic level. Robbie and Jean, good souls as they were no doubt could see a lot of good in the potential linking up of Colin with one or other of these engaging young ladies. Colin, though was of less certain ideas and so politely told Robbie that he was returning to Lahore rather than put into these challenging circumstances.

The winter was spent in Lahore. A young Pakistani, Ken Bejon was there managing the printing press. I took up quarters with him in a small building. This was not the greatest arrangement but it served the purpose for the period up until when I married Gladys. In time I settled into a new routine of working on language and going out in the evenings by cycle to the local villages around with a group of Pakistani Christians. The dynamics were ideal for language learning of the LAMP variety. Ken spoke English but there was lots of Panjabi and Urdu spoken around. The evening meetings were a mix of Panjabi and Urdu very natural surroundings. joined the British Council library and found books for relaxation. The neighbouring missionaries Paul and Joanne Marsh were kind as was another man Jim and his wife Eloise of Philadephia.

Landour, Mussoorie 1955

Howard and I had rented quarters in Murree as a sublease from a mission group. On my income this now proved too expensive to handle unless I could find someone to share it with. I heard about another language school in Landour, Mussoorie, India not far from Dehra Dun. This being India was a larger setup with guest houses where it was possible to rent accommodation. I applied to one of them Childer's Lodge run by the Assemblies of God. They had a small self contained room available and it was there I went in April 1955. The experience was a good one. There were only a few Urdu students giving good access to two Sikh teachers. I was more conversant with the language than most of the others having had this immersion type experience during the winter. Landour is a beautiful spot with magnificent views of the Himalaya. I soon settled down into a pleasant routine.

Complications arose on two levels. One was the presence of some other missionaries of Brethren origin who I felt obliged to give some fellowship and support to. For them 11.00 was the sacred hour on Sunday morning reserved for the Breaking of Bread. This happened to be the same time as the regular Church service was held in the Kellog Church. I did not see myself forsaking all contact with other fellow Christians for this exclusive group even though some of them shared that viewpoint. I agreed to come once in two weeks. Sunday was a day when there was the morning service 11.00 -12.00 then afternoon fellowships held after tea one at Childers for the more Pentecostal inclined and another at Edgehill. I chose the path of least resistance and went to the one in Childers, I could not find anything too different about it beyond the label and a few emphases they had.

The other factor was predictable enough in retrospect but for me a totally new experience. There was no doubt that I was a rather lonely person as I had no close colleagues either ethnically or denominationally in Landour. One of the Pentecostal missionaries befriended me particularly when she found that my facility in Hindustani was very useful for the servants meetings she was responsible for! I also made pilgrimages down to the Hindustani Methodist Church in Kulri Bazaar even though I got little out it. Other ventures with the Hill Villages Mission were heroic endeavours but not of much practical worth as the men were gone from the villages and only a few illiterate women were around. With our limited language and different agenda the value was more in the hiking and walking than in evangelism.

Amongst the occupants of the guest house was one Canadian woman Gladys Fehr. I was struck by her uniqueness early on in season. I had early morning lessons which meant going to breakfast at 06.30 when Gladys was also there. When in New Zealand in there had been some twinge of romance but as I intent on doing the will of God which was interpreted as Overseas Service I did not entertain seriously any such thoughts. Rather I eschewed all such contact. But now free from those constraints, having reached the foreign field and completed basic language study the question could be addressed. The dynamics were all in my favor as single unattached men were in very short supply whereas single women were in considerable surplus. I was not the world's most eligible batchelor as my social skills were minimal my interests being much more in the newspaper, serious conversation, language study politics and the like. Despite these drawbacks the group had ideas of matching me up with another young Englishwoman of similar denominational background. I found myself left alone at the Church and obliged in a chivalrous manner to escort this young lady back to Childers. However, I had no interest at all in her. The fact that she had all the hangups of the denomination were also against her as they were against the attractive and eligible young ladies of Multan.

Romance, marriage were not the things I had in mind. The future was rather vague but my plans did not engage in this area. Events of another kind took over. For the first time in my life I found myself falling in Love! Not something I wanted or sought but it happened alright and was something that could not really be shaken. The object of this interest was a challenge and problem. The major obstacle seen by those outside was the denominational issue. For someone of supposed Brethren outlook and upbringing to marry a Pentecostal was a No No of the highest order. For an official representative of the denomination to take such a step unthinkable! For some reason this was not my preoccupation no doubt because the tenets of the denomination were not very strong in my outlook and thinking. Age was more of a factor to be weighed as this woman was undoubtedly older than I was just how much I did not know. In the end the age difference came out at 10 years. Ethnic origin and background were to be more lasting factors in the long haul but not seriously weighed in at this stage of the process.

I waited it out hoping in some ways that it would all go away and life could go back to a more normal routine. But this did not happen rather the intensity of the desire and interest grew. I had no close confidants so decided that in addition to praying it over I would let my parents in on the happening and see what their reaction would be. I wanted the Lord to impress on them and so get their approval. A tall order indeed! Only a 'prayer sense' could bring them any light or guidance as they had never met Gladys and were far away from the situation. In time they passed the matter over to me giving their consent to anything I decided as the right course of action.

The next question was how to broach the subject to Gladys. In those far off days it was difficult to make any real contact or develop normal courtships as once you went 'out' with someone it branded both of you. Given the Indian climate of arranged marriages there was no cultural sanction for going with someone then later dropping them. Finally I arranged to meet Gladys on the back road after her language lesson and then has a talk with her. In a woman's instinctive way she had some idea but no real surety of my intentions. The idea was a real bombshell and one she could hardly handle. So she said give me a week to think it over. The week went by and another secret clandestine meeting was arranged. Her first answer was NO this was not really a possibility. But having broken the ice more casual contact was made in very informal ways. Having tea together on the verandah, some shopping trips to Mussoorie. Delivery of items to houses when coincidentally we went together. It took time but over this period Gladys began to entertain it all as a possibility. Then she in her own way came to an understanding that Yes this was the plan of God. The unlikely and impossible had happened!

Despite the outward differences underneath there was a lot in common. This was very difficult to explain to other people who tended to look on the outward not being able to see into the heart.en the announcement was made it was met with shock and disbelief on both sides. Gladys's peer group regarded it as a betrayal and a sell out. The Brethren were known for their opposition to both Women ministry and the Baptism in the Spirit so beloved of the Pentecostal people. So how could Gladys sell out these two vital elements just to get a man. Very little support there. On my side a similar reaction as marrying Pentecostals was a similar act of betrayal of all that the denomination stood for. Other wiser heads accepted the inevitable and believed that though difficult it would all work out.

The decision was made to go through the winter with Gladys in Landour and me in Lahore. We would meet up once over that period for Christmas in Delhi. Gladys was not at all sure she would get an engagement ring for both of us had little of this world's resources to work on. But she did buying it in Chandni Chawk in Old Delhi from amongst the jewelers there. Two small diamonds with an emerald in the center in memory of Ireland! Parting was not easy and we waited until the whistle blew for the Frontier Mail which would reach Amritsar the next morning. The compartment was crowded leaving only enough room to dump the bedroll on the floor and sit on it all the way through the night in a Third Class compartment.

Consternation set in with the Church elders back home particularly when a 'kind' soul passed on information about Gladys. Knowing the kind of uproar such disclosures could make I stressed Gladys' Mennonite origins rather than her present connections! I was required to go down to see some wiser brethren who would then send back a report to New Zealand about this happening. In the end I was able to negotiate a visit to Bombay at Christmas rather than a visit to Ootacamund the following May. It was all very threatening but I was more interested in being with Gladys which came through strongly to these good friends. Harold was kind and considerate realizing the action that some of these elders could take. In the end he negotiated it well so that despite foreboding no really drastic action was taken rather the elders proved helpful and considerate seeking to give more financial support which they knew would be needed.

Lahore Winter 1955

In many ways an easier situation as there was an end in sight to living with Ken. Troubles brewed at the Press though ending finally in Ken leaving and going to England. By the Spring of 1956 the main bungalow at 36 Ferozopore Road was vacant opening up the way for Gladys and I to stay there until the summer of 1958.

The wedding in Landour held in the Kellog Church was a very quiet affair. The officiating minister needed to be licensed for that place and this proved to the Language School Principal. Kind friends at Childers arranged a tea party and a sponge cake. The main witnesses were Language School friends of Gladys. Ken came across with me from Lahore to stand up as my best man. Gladys had an Australian friend for a bridesmaid. Gladys did not look well in white so was married in a light green sari with a white brocade blouse. I had on a suit that I had brought from New Zealand but not really worn since arriving in Pakistan. It was all very simple and inexpensive. We were taken by rickshaw pulled by six coolies through the Mussoorie Bazaar and out to the Deodars at the other end.

I had set my heart on going to Kashmir for the Honeymoon. This was complicated by the fact that in those far off days the Indian Government required everyone to get a permit before entering the disputed territory. For some reason the office in Delhi either lost or mixed up the file so that even a trip down there did not remedy things. Kind friends suggested we go to Simla where was an Anglican Guest House run by a Mrs Chandra the English wife of an Indian Canon Chandra. This woman's reaction to her new found status was to become more English than the English. We were surprised by the Guest House which was very very upper class style British, Toast was taken out of the toaster with tongs by the servants rather than touch with their hands. Afternoon tea was a very 'High' affairs where Mrs presided at the top and the bearers took the tea she poured to the guests demurely seated around. We were given an orientation to Simla and exhorted to take a few days to acclimatize to the higher mountain air before venturing further. It was all too much for this colonial. I found out that there was a Dak Bungalow at a place Kot Ghar which could be reached by a rickety bus. That night I announced we were leaving in the morning for this far off place. The location was beautiful surrounded by apple orchards inspired by an English missionary, Stokes, who became a Hindu. His enterprise is the foundation of the present apple industry of Himalchal Pradesh. The bungalow was on a hill overlooking the Jhelum winding into the hills of the Himalaya. The location was great but the facilities somewhat meager. Down in the bazaar there was a tea shop. The caretaker (chawkidar) of the bungalow would produce some chicken curry but beyond biscuits and tea not much else. But for those on honeymoon anywhere can be bliss!

Later that summer we made up for the lack of a proper honeymoon by escaping the heat of Lahore and going up to the Kaghan Valley where we stowed the motor bike an side car at a missionaries home in Balakot then too the jeep to the end of the road in the valley. From there we hired horses and walked up to Babusar at the foot of the pass that led on into Gilgit. Great scenery and adventure. Later on from Afghanistan in 1970 we were to return again to another Dak Bungalow overlooking the valley at Shogran. This time we took more supplies along and arranged with the locals to cook up food. There were 5 of us to feed that time so we had to do a little more than the rather rustic arrangements made at Thane.